🌱 slowing down has changed everything

☁️ turns out joy might be the most productive thing of all

Ten months ago I did something that would have made the 2018-2023 version of me screw her face up and ask “are you alright mate?”

I called a full blown time out on self improvement, in fact… I actually called it ‘the self optimisation fast’. No self help books. No biohacking podcasts. No “how to be your most productive self” panels or vlogs about 4am morning routines.

Just me, and my brain. Which was… interesting at times, more to follow…

It came after I missed my stop home (by 2 stops btw) because I was too busy half watching a TikTok about optimising my life, while my teeny weeny eardrums battled the sounds of screeching tube lines, thinking about whether to make pasta or quinoa for tea all while half thinking about the deck I had to send off in the morning. My brain was frazzled, and the anxiety perpetuated by the idea of not ‘doing enough’ therefore not being enough was rife.

I’ve since binned off my headphones while I’m on commutes, and I never miss my stop any more (unsure why I felt like a smug 5 year old writing that?)

But honestly, I didn’t realise how much mental space all that “bettering” had taken up until I stopped doing it. After a while my mornings felt like mine again. slow and grounded, and most of the time - without the jittery edge of feeling ruled by my own to do list before I’d even started.

At the start of the year I usually give my year a word as my theme for the next 365 days, this year was titled ‘unserious’

... And here’s how it panned out :)

🌱 The year I pressed pause on improving

Running a business for almost seven years is a lot of things: rewarding and beautiful, often chaotic, but I wouldn’t really use the word relaxing.

Even without huge teams and investors, there’s still that constant undercurrent of pressure to grow. To scale. To keep moving. The “so, what’s next?” question, when you literally feel like you’ve just caught your breath.

But this year, I wanted to bask in the passion projects, values aligned client work and the opening of our new physical space and studio which was a project for pure joy - not ego or profit. I wanted to have enough time to be in conversation with the happenings, to sit with them for a while and actually soak up work that felt meaningful rather than jump to the next ‘thing’.

For so long I wanted time to sit with the stillness, and not the kind of stillness and presence that you book a silent meditation retreat for, but the everyday kind.

So, for the last ten months I’ve stopped treating myself like a project and started treating myself like a person again. And the thing that has altered my brain chemistry most: it didn’t make me lazy. It made me alive.

🧃 What happened when I let go of “optimising”

When I took my foot off the gas, I expected guilt to rush in, you know that capitalist “shouldn’t you be doing more?” whisper. Truthfully: yeah, it did at first. But over time, something softer arrived: clarity, I started noticing things I’d ignored before.

Coffee shops I’d walked past but hadn’t peeped my head in to. Long walks with no purpose. Conversations with strangers that turned into full blown life chats, ones that left me smiling to myself the whole way to the next bus stop.

People have told me I sound like a hybrid Essex Aussie who’s drank too much coffee when I talk (not sure if I love or hate this), but I noticed that I even spoke slower!? I felt myself listening deeper. Generally, I felt lighter.

And it rippled into everything - my creativity, my work, my health. For the first time I wasn’t chasing ideas, they were chasing me. I felt so at ease with saying ‘this could be a next year thing’ rather than feeling the need to do it all right away.

The business didn’t fall apart either - we’re actually on track for our best year ever. Revenue doubled YoY, ideas flowing , and everything just… clicked.

Turns out that peace is a productivity hack no one’s writing books about.

🌼 Invitation: bring back the unserious

When was the last time you did something just because? Not to tick a box or post about it, but for the joy of doing it? This week, try it. Book a random class. Go to a gig. Paint something terrible.

Spend a whole afternoon doing something that doesn’t improve you - it just delights you. Because play is the shortcut back to creativity, connection, and presence. A podcast I listened to last year really changed how I think of play as a starting point for creative flow.

🍑 Escapism (the good kind)

I swapped self-help books for fiction. Eleven novels in ten months and not a single one told me how to be better. They just made me feel. Imagine. Breathe again. Friday nights became guilt free zones of fiction, trash TV, snacks, candles and stillness.

My imagination, the thing that had been squeezed between deadlines and algorithms - finally got to stretch its legs again and I experienced that child like quiet mind where you verge on boredom (what a luxury in 2025)

🌿 Invitation: find your escapism beyond the scroll

Where are you escaping to lately?

I recently did a one day intro course to eco-therapy where we learned about natures role in our wellbeing, and it was one of the most soul rewarding things I’ve done in a lonnnng time. So much of what we need is simply outside of technology (and free)

Sit with a tree for a bit. You don’t need to earn your rest.

What slowing down taught me

Being slower made me healthier. Not just physically, but also emotionally. I used to crash out, feeling exhausted on Friday nights, red wine and ice cream in hand, calling it “unwinding” and feeling like it had to be earned.

Now, I recognise what I actually need:

• Fresh air.

• Movement.

• People.

I brought back things that had nothing to do with business and everything to do with joy. French lessons (so I can order a croissant and feel like an absolute main character in my own life in Paris one day). Reviving my netball team - the laughter, the absolute chaos (we’re rubbish but it’s SO much fun), and the post match pint in our favourite pub down the road. Long walks with friends in the middle of the day on a random Tuesday because why the f not?!

My “extra-curricular” life became the most nourishing part of my week.

☀️ The afterglow

Ten months in, I can say this:

I’ve never felt more grounded, grateful, or creatively alive.

⦿ The loops of optimisation - closed. ⦿The noise - quiet. ⦿The direction - clearer than ever.

And now as I feel that spark of wanting to learn again, it’s not from pressure. It’s from passion. It’s soul work, not homework.

I keep telling myself on loop: slow down, feel the air again, laugh loud. Make a really shit first attempt at a filo pastry without the goal of putting it on an instagram story, for crying out loud.

Because sometimes, the best version of you is just the version that’s present. Tincy micro moments that aren’t ‘grid worthy’. Realising you’re enough here and now, and the future doesn’t need to be optimised.

It just needs to be yours 😊 slower, softer, and full of life :)

Big love,

dais x 💛

Let’s connect on instagram and linkedin :)

For consulting, speaking and strategy enquiries email daisy@theselfhood.com 💌